Tuesday, August 19, 2008

A bit surprised to see tags with concern to my last post, dun worry my frens, cuz I guess it's PMS coupled with anxiety. And it's really true that I feel much better now that I've settled down here. A brief recap of what happened the past week. As expected, I cried rather out of composure at the airport when we departed. What's more shocking was that my mum actually cried for 2 straight hours, even before I stepped out of the house and even up till I went into the departure hall. Dunno how long she kept on crying after tat. Heard from my sis's sms that she still continues to weep when she reached home. Gosh... Din know she waS so emotional and can't bear for me to leave so much. Lucky the SQ flight was smooth without much turbulence and comfortable. This helped to soothe my sad feelings a little.

When I reached Merryland after 26 hours of journey, I was a little lost in my sense of time. Went to the apartment straight and was a little sian that the place was not furnished at all. Okay it's excpected but itwas still very demoralising after such a long flight and Cha and I both knew that we will not get any rest tat day. We rushed straight to IKEA shortly after we settled our luggage. We bought a bed, a bed frame, 2 dining tables aka study tables with 4 chairs. Delivery took two days so we hand carried a ti lum back home so that we have something soft to sleep on. As we don't know our way around, and tpt there is like shit, we took the bus and the bus driver out of helpfulness, told us to get off early when it's not supposed to be. Sian, in the end, Cha got so frustrated that we took a cab and cost us 15 bucks when the bus could have carried us home.

Still cannot rest after we reached home. We rushed to the supermarket which was a good 20 min walk away and bought the essentials, like cleaning tools and food stuff. So damn heavy that we have to carry all of them and struggled to walk the long way home. Wah lucky we found a shortcut to the supermarket after a few days, or else, I would hate marketing and we both have to go hungry liao...

Now still dun have internet connection, cuz the stupid cable company took eons to call us back and schedule an appointment. We gave up and have to go to campus to use wireless connection. Oh yah, the campus is quite nice, lots of greenery and is quite serene. Looks like wat I've seen in TV for uni, not like NUS so run-down. Becuz we have not tv, no internet and no phone, we are cut off from the rest of the world and are so damn bored after dinner. So we ended up watching rented movies every evenings. Hav never seen so much ang mors movies in a week bfore. Most are like shit. I missed Spore, HK and Korean dramas leh...

Shopping here is lousy. Only a simple supermarket and a few outlets in the shopping center. Will have to visit DC if we want to go to large malls. Washington DC is nice with it's grand buildings and we caught a glimpse of the white house during a sightseeing trip on Sunday. It's ulu and heavily guarded. On my bday yesterday, we went downtown Silver Spring for shopping. Cha also whipped up a delicious dinner for me and we had a strawberry cake after that, although there are no candles lar. But the celebration was sweet and simple and I really enjoyed it. My first bday abroad, it was special:)

Btw, Merryland is predominantly black, and I've not seen so many blacks in my life bfore leh. It's wierd I dun see many whites here. A lot of hispanics too. Dun feel safe sometimes, so will be a bit scared to go out alone. Lucky Cha looks a bit hispanic and he blends in quite well... haha, I feel more protected.

Heard that Spore won a silver for ping pong, it's wierd tat the team representing Spore is from China and the competition is in Beijing. Seems no diff to them cuz the gold and silver medals are won by China, haa.. Ironic. The only news I've heard from Spore so far...

Will update my blog when have chance to access internet again...

I MISS HOME, I MISS SPORE!!!

11:44 PM

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Ok, the day is finally here. Tomorrow will be the day I'll be away from home for 2 years. Mixed feelings and confusion. A bit emotionally numbed now. Now bz with packing my luggage and double check that I did not miss anything out. Yesterday my mum cooked a feast to celebrate my bday in advance. She even bought chilli crabs and my fav deer meat. My last time eating them before I'm leaving. Even had a cake for me to blow out the candles. Feel wierd to celeb my bday so early. Guess I'll really miss home and Spore. My family & frens, my bed, my room and the food here. As much as I want to enjoy the feeling of being at home rite now, I can't as I still need to pack some more stuff...Now worrying one more thing. I think my bags are overweight.

Scared that things will change during these 2 years. Even Cha dun seems as attentive as before, often brushed me away with I have a lot of things to do, I'm bz.. Yah..and who's not bz.. This is the time I need most support bfore I leave, too much things I'm hanging onto, and yet he cannot give me the reassurance which might make me feel better. Always say he's tired and dozed off before I could air my concerns to him. Think this will most prob be the case when we are over there. Now I'm more strongly convinced that I will feel lonely and miserable over there, when he will say the same thing like oh im bz with my homework, no time to be with you etc.. Think I will just go mad over there. But I can always turn back to Spore if I'm unhappy over there. I really will. My mum told me to return home if I'm not used to the life over there.

It's sad that the day before I'm leaving home for 2 years to start a new life, that my confidence start to waver...

I miss home~...

2:27 PM

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Time seems to fly past these few weeks. Perhaps too much things happening. My Europe trip in May, and now I'm preparing for my US stay in 2 weeks time. Have less than 2 weeks to pack now, the first thing I'm going to do tomorrow is to clean up my room. It has been a mess for a few months liao..Hope to make my room clean and tidy bfore I fly... Although finally I dun have to work anymore, dunno y, it has been replaced with a indescribable empty feeling. I'm scared of the unknown for the next two yrs. I know chances are I'm going to enjoy my stay in the States, but for now, at this moment, I feel lost and homesick. Haiz...I can't back out now. It was a decision I had made, and I'm going to follow it thru w Cha... Afterall, my hubby is going to be with me...

Went for another consultation yesterday. Since I couldn't feel the lumps anymore, I half expected the doc to say congrats, the lumps are shrinking. Instead she said, it has been lumpier than she had last examined...Now great, fancy hearing this 2 weeks before I have to leave...I've been following the doc's instructions, have been avoiding chicken meat and soy bean, and yet there seems to be more lumps now...Doc says could be due to stress, I tink is probably pre-US distress or wat la, dunno how to describe my feelings these few weeks. But will follow this up with the docs in States, hopefully it could turn out better. I have a hunch that I'd be very stressed out all the way up till I can settle down in my new home in a strange new country and this is not any help to my current condition at all. But what can I do? Just have to control my diet and keep my mood happy and stress-free, although it would be diff during this period of time. Dun even dare to tell my mum later she more worried as it is now...haiz... Im quite scared, and this, adds on to my worries...

Just had zhi char with my family at the Japanese Garden, missed the food there. Also went to Msia to visit my ah-ku with Cha yesterday.. Feels great to have dinner with them again, we had a very sumptuous seafood spread in Kulai. Too bad one of my close cousin is not there... Could tell Chaa enjoyed the crabs and prawns a lot... Will be back to dine there again in 2 yrs time de...

9:44 PM

Friday, July 25, 2008

Today's my last day of work..haiz..feeling emo again..Even though I have complained non-stop abt my work, but when the time comes for me to leave, I still feel a bit she bu de. This is my first job and time really flies, two yrs whizzed past lidat...later will be going round to bid my farewell, then will do my final packing liaozz. Will miss my colleagues, small boss and my cubicles as well...

Bye MOT~

9:02 AM

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Just got my visa approved liao, Cha will be collecting them tommorow. Still have to queue for more than half hr to get interviewed lor...dunno y so many ppl in Spore so gian want to go US, quite a fair bit are ANs... Anyway, due to some stupid problem in my visa application, we have to leave Singapore earlier by one week. Have confirmed the flight to be on 8 Aug 08. Going to take SQ to LA then change to UA to reach Washington. 20 hrs flight. Sibei sian... Lucky it's SQ for 16 hrs..more comfortable...Even after we touch down also cannot rest as the place we are going to stay in will be unfurnished, so will have to go shopping for furniture and essential stuff when we reach Maryland in the morning de...

Anyway, because of this change in date, I will be super bz these few weeks lo.. Now compiling a list of things to buy and bring over liao... Rice cooker is definitely top of the list. How abt iron, cooker and bed? Skin care products leh? Will all these be cheaper to bring over or buy over there huh? A lot of question marks in my head now. Also need to make sure my luggage is not overweight de... Can't bear with my soft toys leh, the Porky Family, so intending to bring one or 2 over to accompany me. My blanket also. Contemplating to bring my bolster also. Wah.. so many things!! Warm clothings leh? Will I need more long johns? Too many considerations liao. Also need to spring clean my room, 2 years never clean liao. After my last day at work will leave only 2 weeks to do all these, helppppp!

Starting to miss my home even before I leave. Think I may cry during see-off leh... Whenever I tot of being away from home for so long, my eyes start to be wet wet liao... Lucky my flight is on weekday afternoon, Pinkies will be working, I dun think I can bear to see so many people seeing me off. Will feel so desolete and lonely after I board the plane, so lucky Cha will be with me and I wun be alone...

It was a drastic change of feelings. I was really estactic when Cha informed me when he first got the scholarship. My dream is coming true! Finally... after so many months of preparation for the application. At that time, Aug still seems so far away and the reality of being away from home for 2 years did not really sink in. But as the leaving date is approaching, I'm starting to imagine how life will be when we are over there. Cold and lonely. No one to turn to. Will miss the confort of my home and bed badly. I'm barely left with three weeks at home now. Nowadays when I am sleeping at night, I will try to enjoy the pure bliss of being in my warm and comfortable bed, with my Porky, Smiley, Pinky, pillows and etc by my side. And the fact that my mum also starts to care for me more these past few months makes it more difficult for me to even think of leaving home..

All in all, I'm glad Cha will be with me and I'm still looking forward to a new life with him, our own home, and being able to study again. But I think the first few weeks over there are going to be extremely difficult for me, esp I can't even celebrate my bday in the solace of my home...

4:47 PM

Friday, July 04, 2008

A second update for those who are worried abt my health. I'm tentatively fine. It turns out that I have 3 solid lumps in my left breast. I was referred to a breast specialist in Gleneagles. Really scared at that time. I've never had anything this serious to the extent of seeing a specialist. On my way there, my mind flashed thru a lot of scenarios, What if it's something bad? Will I be healthy for the rest of my life? Can I still go US? Do I need to go for ops? I'm so afraid of pain one leh...

After looking at the ultrasound pics, the doc concluded that all three shd be benign for now. However one is quite big, the size of 20 cents coin, the other one has a slightly abnormal shape with a thin wall inside the lump. This means that the chance of it being malignant is higher and thus needs to be followed-up closely. So I have to do a check up again when I'm in US in 3 months time, to see if the shape continues to grow abnormally and whether the rest grow bigger. Will have to remove it if any gets too big. However, doc advises me to control my diet and lifestyle first...Haiz, a bomb will have to be spent if I really hav to consult a specialist in the States. Even an ultrasound scan there costs 500 bucks...sian diao...my family also quite worried la, keep urging me to go for ops now... but where got the time?? I need time to recover before I fly off one ma...However the doc got say that I don't have high risk factors, so dun need to worry so much...

But hor, after yesterday's episode, how can I not worry la. Shd anything happen when I'm in the States, will consider coming back to seek treatment, as it'll be much cheaper de, haiz..these are just random tots going thru right now. Maybe I'll be just fine and I worry too much liao...
Although I can take a breather now, but a lot of unknown in the next few years. So glad that Cha will be with me thru all these and it really helps to relieve my fear when he takes time off from his work just to accompany me to all these consultation visits...

10:19 AM

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Okay, here's some updates due to popular demand..haaa...Nothing much happened. Pretty bz with my uni admission. Have decided on a commercial uni just next to Cha's uni. Have ding-dong with the international student office for nearly two weeks bfore they finally decided to send me the I-20 form which is necessary to apply for a student visa. The course I've decided on is totally irrelevant to what I've studied in NUS or my work now. But then again that uni only offers 4 postgrad degrees, MBA, Financial Mgmt , Healthcare, and the other one I forgot is what liao. MBA requires 3 yrs and healthcare is definitely not my interest lar. Will have to work for govt again de... So I took up Financial Mgmt, hoping I can branch out from what I'm doing now when I return. Now waiting for the relevant doc to come in before I can take the next step.

Have been looking forward to a different life overseas with Cha, have been preparing and envisioning this for almost two years liao. Can go travel states together, live together, study together and have a taste of marital life before we get our own house when we come back. Also a lot of things to do when we are back in Spore in 2 yrs time. Need to prepare for customary wedding, family planning and find a new job which hopefully is better than my current one. Although my career will come to a standstill these 2 yrs, but I guess to exchange it for 2 yrs overseas for my studies has always been my dream, so it's worth it. Cha has made all these possible for me, and because of my dream, he is "forced" to study another 2 yrs, even though he's very tired of studying all his life liao...haha, Chaa, thanks le wor~ =)

However, now very anxious and scared. Had done a body check-up on Mon, and they found a lump in my breast. Had went for ultra-sound scanning for follow-up checking. If the results is negative, all my dreams will fall thru one...I don't want anything to happen to me when my life is seemingly perfect now. Haiz...May be just unnecessary worries... But will review the medical results with the doctor during lunch time later. All truths will reveal then. Till then, will just have to pray very hard...

ps. btw, I very lazy to upload the photos of my trip onto my blog, very slow and too many pics liao. Can go Danny's facebook to see the albums, but not completely uploaded yet..

10:50 AM

Friday, June 20, 2008

Finally back from my three-week vacation. First time in my life to go for such a long holiday de, SHIOK DE LOR! Just to complete my first update on my Europe trip, from Venice we continued on to Rome, Florence, Pisa, Switzerland- Lucern, Paris and Scotland. Out of these cities, I think Rome is a very chaotic place. Like what my tour guide said this is "Organised Confusion", you can see cars cutting into the lanes everywhere, people talking animatedly, horns sounding on the roads. Don't really like that place much. Yah, it's culturally rich, but more suitable for christians, as there are many churches and chapels. To me they all looked the same. Nothing special. I also dun like the people there. Say a lot of words, but dun work. Ha...

With the exception of Lucern, Scotland, and Paris, the rest of the cities look similar and I can't really differentiate them from my memory now. I prefer the small towns like Innsbruck and Salzburg to those big cities. They are more cozy and quiet. And more special and memorable. Paris was also nice, loved the eiffel tower at night. When it stroke 11pm, the tower was lighted up with shimmering blinking lights. Really beautiful and romantic! Lucern was nice but raining, and not as breathtaking as Scotland. Perhaps it was the excitement of finally venturing out on our own, away from our tour group, we rented a car and Cha bravely drove through the countryside to the Isle of Skye, Fort William and finally Glasgow. We stayed in little cottages with Bed and Breakfast overlooking the lake and the hills. Simply lovely and romantic. It was a really different experience, by finding our ways out in a foreign place. And wherever we drove, the sceneries were just so nice everywhere that we simply had to stop our car in the middle of the highway to take pictures. Will take my parents there next time when I have the $$, think they'll love it. In fact, the only place with good memories are in Scotland liao, simply worth to go. Maybe it's the only time when Cha and I truly spend time together. Alone :D

The tour group is based in UK, so the acccoms they provide were good, at least 4 stars and above. And when those nights we had 5 stars hotel like Hilton in Vienna and Paris, we really had a luxurious and comfortable stay there. It costs us 550 SGD to stay there a night!! Siao... Will never get to stay there without joining a tour group. It's crazy to fork out the money just for sleeping. So Cha and I used their facilities fully when we could. Jaccuzi was nice and there was even a LCD flat screen to watch TV while soaking in the jaccuzi bath! SHIOK LOR~ Will never forget that. Cha don't even dare to tell his dad we were enjoying this kind of luxury, haha... Tat's why we have to bear with poverty when we are back in Spore now de...:P

But next time for honeymoon, I will prefer somewhere ulu and exotic...with a much slower pace, just the two of us, rather than rush thru all the sightseeing. Somewhere like Mauritius or equivalent. But would prefer a place that is unknown to most people... :D

A lot of things happened while we were away these 3 weeks. One of my friend found someone better (and I think he's much much much better) and another got back together with her bf. Very happy that after they had gone through these rough patches, they find happiness now. Had celebrated Junie's bday and farewell for Rose last nite at Shokodo. Full Pinkies strength with bfs leh! Of cuz Cha must be present as well. Like what Mao said, Cha is a veteran for Pinkies' bfs, so he had to impart "how to please Pinkies" advice to the other bfs...haha..Hope they won't back out after all these lar, haha! It was an enjoyable gathering, after not seeing them for such a long time. I will surely miss all these when I'm in US...

p.s. Photos of my trip will be posted up soon...=D

10:00 AM

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Just came back from my Europe trip. Very very tired. The flight was like shit, had been a roller coaster for a few hours straight. The air turbulence was so bad that for a moment I thought the plane was going to crash. The worst flight I had ever taken and my stomach was bloated and I felt a bit air-sick throughout the journey.

This is also the day Juno passed away. Just heard the sad news from Cha. Can imagine how terribly sad Cha and his family must be feeling right now. While we were still in UK a few days ago, Cha's dad had already informed Cha that Juno was very sick and might not be able to make it. But I din know he would leave so soon. Juno must had been waiting for Cha to return home, for the whole family to reunite again before he drew his last breath. I would have gone with Cha tonight to see him had I known he would leave us. Sadly to say, I din manage to see him for the last time.

I recall that Juno was quite hostile to me when he first saw me 2 years ago. Maybe he dun like strangers in his territory. Or he dun like me fighting for Cha's attention. But as I started to frequent Cha's house and feed him biscuits, he had gradually learned to accept me and even danced for my attention so that I could give him a cheese stick. That's y I'm feeling quite sad too. Going to miss the days at Cha's house when he's around. To Cha and his family, they have lost a family member who had been with them loyally for a decade. To me, I will always remember his adorable face whenever he wants food. How I wish I could pet him for one last time.

Goodbye Juno, rest in peace, hope you have gone to a better place with lots and lots of food you love.

My last pic with Juno on Vesak Day...

10:56 PM

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Today is the eighth day of the trip. Quite tiring but overall fun. Totally indulged ourselves in very good hotels and excursions, although things are very expensive here. Sometimes, it costs 1 Euro to go to the toilet! Kaoz... Took a lot of pictures, around 2000 photos, and we are not even halfway into the trip! Money is running out for us, so we need to change more money liao. Really broke now...when we come back really need to eat grass liao...heez...

We are now in Venice which is a beautiful city and will be moving to Rome tomorrow morning. Had travelled to London, Amsterdam, Cologne, Munich, Innsbruck, Salzburg and Vienna so far. That's it for now=D

To be continued...

3:37 AM

Thursday, May 22, 2008

My In-Laws' Bday~

11:27 AM

Tomorrow flying off to Europe liao. By right, shd be very happy and excited. But dunno y, not much feel for this trip. Guess it's the clearing of my work, the distress of losing my phone, the tragic news of the China earthquake, and many other factors in place that make me not as happy as I shd be... A lot of money was dumped into it, but this trip is imperfect in many ways. Still, I want to fulfill my dreams of travelling ard. If I have the chance again, I would want to travel these places again, preferably with other company... Hmm. I'm dreaming again...

9:50 AM

Friday, May 16, 2008

Sad, very very sad...my phone was lost since Tuesday in my office. And it was switched off when I tried to call it!! :'( Although it was negligence on my part, but someone in the office stole it. Outsiders are ruled out as all were escorted until they left. It's either the div 1 officers, who were the attendees of the meeting, the interns, or the tea lady... Going to make a police report tomorrow morning. I miss my phone so much...so many memorable pic and msgs inside. Fancy a thief inside my ministry. It's a shame. It's one of our own people, I'm sure... YOU STUPID THIEF! I WANT MY PHONE BACK!!!!!:(

11:54 PM

Friday, May 09, 2008

~Funny yet Memorable Moments~

"So damn nervous, helpppp!"

The cork is finally out~

Lexin staring intently at a chio bu~

"Gave such a big ang pao, the food better be good" :P

Ever camera-sensitive Jiao: "aiyah, not in time to pose":P

Dunno y Cha's more excited than me~

Daixing: "Someone stepped on my foot!!"

"Better grab more carrots~"

"hmm, my cooking is better"

"Mmm, hope the next bride is me~"

"What's tat in the tea?"

Frowning~

Yummy yummy!

Moral of the story: Always be on high alert when a photographer is around =P

9:00 PM

Thursday, May 08, 2008

~The Precious Moments of my Life ~

My pink roses

Looks like a fairytale~ Doing my make-up Curling my hair
Nice pic!
Look at Cha's double chin:P Marching-In~ Protected under the woman's charter:P
I like this one, we looked so happy...
My Dear Pretty Pinkies Chatting with Mao (Actually we knew the cameraman was shooting us, so we pretended to be reserved and demure :P) This one is very nice, very natural:) Tien looked more xin fu than me, haha :P
Some outdoor shoots