Monday, October 11, 2010
Too warm to sleep. Head is also aching. As well as thinking of my pending wedding next year. Wedding date will be on either one of this dates:
01 September 2011
25 September 2011
04 October 2011
07 October 2011
30 October 2011
11 November 2011
12 November 2011
Hmm..so far I like 11 Nov 2011 best, but it could be more expensive as well... so pending further confirmation. Somehow I am not at all excited. Instead I'm worried and anxious. From my perspective, an unforgettable honeymoon and cozy home are more important priorities, and that's where I'd like to channel the $ to. But from the parents' perspectives it's their show. But who's going to pay for it?? It could be a whooping 45-table banquet, where the couple will look like a pair of clowns marching into the ballroom amidst the sea of strangers, and only 5 tables sit my own friends. Most guests might just be more interested in the food, and nothing else. So...is it worth to host a grand banquet and risk losing tens of grands of dollars? Although I would also like to live a fairytale for the day, but the price is too great to realise this fantasy. I would rather go on a good honeymoon trip. Afterall, marriage more or less centers on the couple, not the strangers. A tiring investment with negative returns. Not to mention the sensitive money issues that may conflict between the two families as well as between the couple and the parents.
So just be done with it. Minimal loss is what we are aiming for. I just wan my own house and my honeymoon. Although I may seem like an ingrate, but I am indeed much much happier in Merryland, where I'm not tied down by any restriction, expectation and obligation. My home then was sparse with only the most basic furnitures to cater to our primary needs. No sofa, no coffee table, no huge TV. I'm perfectly happy with a basic kitchen, a table and chair with my laptop, and a bed. Such a basic home actually forms the happiest memory of my life. But now, despite I have everything, obligations of harsh reality sometimes make me feel really empty and despair. Sometimes, I feel that if I appear too strong or very well-off, obligations can suffocate me until I lose all motivations in life. I definitely feel more cherished and my presence felt when I'm not physically well or when I'm leaving for a long time. Life is never fair to give us the best of everything.
Maybe I'm just Pmsing...
12:29 AM
